Monday, April 25, 2016

Camp NaNo April 2016

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I managed to beat my own goal by doubling it. That was certainly a surprise.

Maybe I will use the same tactic in July’s Camp NaNo.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Easier said than done...

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I have never made it a secret that I self harm.

Today was/is one of those days. The deed is done, however.

They always tell you to reach out and call/talk to someone before you do it. Just likr with NA or AA or anything of that nature. Talk to someone, tell them what you are feeling, tell them what is going on in your head and hopefully they can ‘talk you done’ so to speak.

I have never been able to do that. NEVER. I self mutilation is my burden, and I dont wish to share it with anyone until after the fact.

Today I went to for place that devates from my norm, which is my arms. Today I went for my leg. A good two inch line above the knee. It is haphazard, but I dont think it needs stitches.

There are many things that brought it on. And I thought about it all morning, having my coffee, playing with my ‘tool of choice’.

In all that time, I could have called my friends, talked to my kid, called my mom. I never do it. I wait until all is quiet and do my dirty little deed, and then somehow I feel better.

And then I can talk about it. Well, not really the reason, but I can say, ‘Hey, I self harmed today…’.

So, if you know someone who is like this, or have some advice, or even an idea or two, toss them my way, or, encourage someone you know that self harms not to be like me.

Saturday, April 2, 2016

Writewritewrite

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Camp NaNo…I’m writing, honest I am. I have other plans too.

Yanno what? NOTHING is coming to pass as it should be. ~cries~

Last week I had gone to my doctor for allergies. Well, that didnt bode well, as it all turned into a ginormous chest cold. So, I went back yersterday and am on so many codiene and codience related products, I can barely think straight.  A Spiriva. I havent been on that since I had come out of that coma a few years ago.

And I was supposed to have lunch with my friend Stephanie yesterday. We have had to rearrange this lunch date several times now. I really miss her face. ~WAILS~

So, I know I promised you all stories during Camp NaNo. I’ll try to make these something decent and coherent sounding.

Send me healthy vibes!!!! I TOTALLY hate being sick.

~wears a hazmat suit to cuddle and squish you all~