Wednesday, December 31, 2014

2014 in Review

So everyone is posting their ‘Year in Review’ stats from WordPress.
Not I.
Why? Its embarrassing. Its shameful. I. Am. A. Loser.
My stats are so pathetic. Granted, I’ve only had this thing running for a few months, but I guess I had unrealistic expectations. I mean, really, I added a donate button – one lovely person offered a donation. I added a ‘Gofundme’….0…zero…zip…nada… I even tweaked it a little, lowered the goal, etc..
Anyway.
2014.
I managed to lose 100 pounds of gushy fat. I am much healthier. I am no longer on medications for high cholesterol and blood pressure, no longer having to test my blood sugar every day for diabetes type II, which is gone. I can walk and climb stairs without huffing and puffing. I lost some of my bewbs, but man, my ass looks awesome ;)
I had to buy a new wardrobe. Okay, to most girls they scream and swoon over such things. Not me. It was an inconvenience. New shoes, too, because my feel don’t swell up like sausages anymore.
I still have COPD, which I will have forever.
I quit smoking.
I started smoking again. Okay, Okay…I dropped the ball there. However, I don’t smoke nearly as much, and I don’t smoke in the house anymore. I go outside. And sometimes its either too damn hot, or too damn cold, so I don’t smoke.
I wrote three books. Granted, I have 15 on my hard-drive, but 3 are ready for polishing and editing and publishing.
I’ve dove in to social media. I think its landing on the ‘fail’ side at the moment. I’ll get better over time though. I have met quite a few bloggers who keep me motivated and are, in their own way, showing me the do’s and dont’s.
I published a book. Its failing so far, but hey, I put myself out there. I will continue to do so.
I entered and completed my first NaNoWriMo.
I have done NaBloPoMo two straight months, and plan on keeping it going.
I have not had a blood-clot in my leg in about a year. My left leg will always be thicker than the right, but I’ve been extra careful about not banging in to things and bruising myself. Blood thinners are no fun for a klutz like me.
I have tolerated very much bullshit without murdering anyone. THAT is a real accomplishment.
I still have one of the best friends anyone could ask for. Though there are miles between us, its one of those friendships were we can go without talking on the phone for a week or more, and then call one another and pick back up right were we left off.
I have a great kid. She’s an idiot, but I love her.
I have a wonderful family. We’re dispersed all over the world, but that doesn’t stop our shenanigans.
I have read many many great works of art…not just books, but blogs. There are so many talented people in this world. Its a precious thing.
Later today I plan on whipping out my pen and paper and making my list for the coming year. My goals I hope to achieve. My dreams. My wants and needs. I’ll post that tomorrow.
So until next year…or unless I decide to blog again today…
Happy New Year All.
BE SAFE!!! BE RESPONSIBLE!!! You don’t know the lives you touch indirectly when it comes to being an online presence.
LOVE YOU ALL!!
Oh, yeah…2015…hopefully the year of the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!!! GO WORLD ANNIHILATION!!!

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

CATS…for lack of anything else at 5am

I love my fat cat. I love all cats. Cats are awesome. I’ll love YOUR cat.
I adopted fat cat from the shelter when she was a weee bebeh. She was feisty and mean, just like she is now. She’s just fatter and free of fleas and ear-mites.
If I could, I’d have a ton of cats. Typical crazy cat lady sort of thing. I have a ‘crazy cat lady action figure’. Yeah, obsessed.
So fat cat is getting older. She’s very clingy lately. I went to Wal-Mart around 2am and was only gone maybe 45 minutes. When I got home I got yelled at and fussed at by the fat cat, then followed around like that little 45 minute jaunt was like 45 years in cat time.
She’s been all over me lately. And when she isn’t ON me, she’s here on my desk. She’s been doing this crazy thing with my desk lamp. I know it puts off heat, I can feel it. Well the knuckle head keeps shoving her nose at it, and of course it burns her! But she keeps doing it. ~head desks~
And then, when she isn’t shoving her face into it, she’s trying to crawl under it, like its a sunlamp or something. Well, the lamp is very small…and she…she’s a 15lb fat cat. Only her head fits. She looks ridiculous. ~sighs~
I’ve just shoo’ed her off the desk. She decided she wanted to help me type. She must know I was talking about her. She bit my hand. She doesn’t bite me hard. Just nibbles. The only time she gets a little too rough is when I am trying to climb in bed. She waits patiently for me to get one leg up before attacking the other. Hard.
On to another subject, 2014 is drawing to a close. I’ve seen a lot of year in review posts. I thought of doing something like that. And maybe a little something on what I want to do in 2015. I dont make resolutions. I do set goals. There’s a difference. To me, resolutions are too flimsy, too easily broken. Goals have structure.
Okay, I’m weird in my thinking, I know.
We’ll get to those things tomorrow maybe. That would be a good way to wrap up the year.
I’m taking that stupid Christmas tree down sometime today, with any hope. So sick of looking at it. Grah.
I’m going to get the fat cat stoned. She deserves a little fix of the old catnip! :D

Monday, December 29, 2014

Gettin' real tired...

Yeah, getting real tired of having to be a grown up.
All I wanted to do was run to town and pretty much go window shopping. Alone. By myself. Sans company.
So that seemed okay…until.
Until I start getting ‘lists’ of things I should stop and pick up.
I didn’t want to deal with lines and crowds and checkouts. I just wanted to browse, and be alone to ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ at things I had no intention of purchasing.
Why can people not leave me alone enough to just go looking at stuff?
Then I got called selfish.
~head desks~
I totally give up on today. And its just barely 1pm. I am finally feeling better, pain-wise, and just wanted to get out of the house a little.
But no.
SO…being the stubborn mule that I am, I am camping out in my office today with the fat cat and locking the door. Piss on everyone.
I’ve been trying to write, but have been wholly uninspired. I have people on my games requesting RPs, and I just cant think of good starters or reasons for my character to be interacting with theirs. Its frustrating.
I just thought getting out of the house, ALONE, would refresh my mind, listening to some tunes as I drive, people watching, etc., might kick start something in my head.
But apparently I’m not allowed to step foot out of my own house without having to cater to everyone else’s needs.
DAMMIT I AM GROUCHY!!!
My zombie apocalypse isn’t coming soon enough.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Pain




I am in so much pain today. My head, my wrists and hands, my knees and my back.
I woke up after a little nap this morning and it was crushing. I felt fine just 3 hours before. I think maybe its the weather. Its like 75 degrees out and rainy. Warm and humid and damp.
I don’t have any prescription pain killers. I usually only ask the doctor for those once a year, and I don’t use them often. I took some extra strength over the counter stuff and it hasn’t touched the pain.
My only other thought was to take some Ambien and sleep through it. That was a bust. You see, I naturally run a little hotter than most people. My normal body temp is 100 or so instead of the usual 98.6. So, I have the air conditioner on. The kid is complaining she’s cold. So I’m in pain, and hot and sweat. Even with the Ambien, I only managed like 2 hours of a nap, and the sleep was broken because every time I moved it was painful.
This is painful, but I hate the idea of missing a day. Tenacious, I know. Stubborn to the core.
This will be the closing of this post however. I just cant elaborate any more. I cant sit here and type and type.
Have a good evening, ya’ll!

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Role Play Power-playing. GAH!



So I’ve taken a little ‘me’ time and spent it on my text based gaming. Last night, or rather, the weee hours of this morning, were spent trying not to gouge my own eyes out with a melon-baller.

The thing about role play gaming, is that most of the text based do indeed have a structure. So, my character has been there for a bit, and is at a certain ‘rank’. I’ve worked her hard to achieve that rank. I do not write her to be more powerful than someone who ‘out-ranks’ her.

I’m enjoying myself, writing away, when I come upon some ‘fresh meat’. I mean, they are so new, that the game itself wont let you attack them. That’s less than 24 hours new. HOWEVER…she decided to not read the general RP etiquette rules and practices and tried to take me on in RP. Its called ‘godmodding’, or ‘power-playing’. Thinking her ‘level one’ character can actually take on my ‘level thirteen’ character in any sort of way.

So. Wrong.

After the incident, and I sent her a little ‘out of character’ heads up on how not to end up dead, and how to get people to interact with her character, I began looking over the forum for something more comprehensive than just the standard ‘Faq’ page.

I found nothing. That is irritating. Oh, they have two whole pages devoted to coding to make your character profile page all pretty though. ~head desks~

I have a whole manual written that I had put together some years back for a different game.

Here’s the kicker though…As much as I like this game I’ve been playing, I wont offer up my help to them.

Why? Well, if you treat me like crap, don’t expect me to be all peaches and cream. I’ve had the owners and moderators come down hard on me for speaking up on behalf of other people who just wont speak up for themselves.

I also caught them cheating at their own game. That’s a story for another time.

I will give you an idea of their bias and improper practices however: I had posted/ranted on my gaming FB page how it was weird that the same people always won the ‘Role-play of the Month’. I said they were padding the votes. It got filtered out of my page and into the ears and eyes of the owners and mods of the game…who by the way…had no access to that particular FB page. ANYWHO…I was pretty much called out on it, on their FB page, even though I never mentioned the particular game I was ranting about by name, and its widely known I play several. Sounds to me like guilty conscious, non?

Anyway…they called me out on it…said if people wanted to win RP of the Month, get better friends to vote for them, and/or learn to write better.

!!!!!!!! WHA?!?!?!?!

These people are trying to get help with marketing their game by the way. Offering free goodies to those who help advertise and market. To get more member. To get more players. To get more writers and role-players.

~face-palms~

They kinda picked the wrong girl to diss, didn’t they? I mean, I’ve got a pretty darn good following here, on my Blogger and on my Twitter…and a lot on the Blogger and Twitter are gamers.

They really shouldn’t have tried dance with me.

I called them out on their blunders, then went one step further and tested the ‘its who the cool kids are’ theory and was proven 100% correct.

Too bad for them.

I’m not the sort to follow the crowd, and I do speak my mind, call people out and point out flaws in thinking when other people are being pissed on over it. I was told ‘no one voted you the voice of the little guy’. Well, geez. My response to that was no one needs to be voted for such a thing…its just the right thing, and nice thing, to do…especially when ‘the little guy’ feels so intimidated by the ‘cool kids’.

Yeah, so, my mouth gets me in trouble. I’m not allowed to be nominated for things anymore…people don’t read my stuff much, but meh, there are a few of those ‘little guys’ who write with me.
I’d really love to teach the people on that game…the new ones…how to properly write and role-play. The differences between conversational and narrative. First person and third. PLAYING TO YOUR RANK!!!! ~GAH~

Its hard when the very creators, owners and moderators that they chose are so biased and junk though.

And, man, they missed out on a decent marketing and advertising campaign with me…HAR!

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

The start of something?




Hunter and Prey
by Zoe Ambler
The dead dry leaves crunched under her feet. Sometimes giving her pause to slip only to have her scramble to regain her footing once again. She ran, unaware on where to run to. Madison was lost, and the pain she was in only heightened her anxiety and panic. It left her to run aimlessly, hoping to find a path, a person, someone to offer salvation. Blood ran in rivulets down her arm and back, dripping along the coarse she ran. She tried not to scream for all that she’d seen and that had happened to her. She couldn’t hide her breathing the panting and gulping in air though. Her lungs aching every bit as much as her legs. Any tracker could find her. She left telltale signs everywhere. Her breathing, the trail of blood, the way the earth and leaves where scattered and the broken limbs she stumbled across.
Madison thought she was at the top of her game. Nothing or no one could touch her. She knew her weapons and she was in peak physical condition.
None of that mattered tonight. She couldn’t even think clear enough to describe what had happened. It was a blur of claws, teeth, hair, blood, bone, muzzle flashes, gun smoke, screams. Everyone in her small ‘camping’ party, massacred. She would have been too, if she hadn’t been so small, agile and quick on her feet. Even that hadn’t saved her from taking a hit though. Whatever attacked the group clawed or bit her shoulder. Mauled it. It was pretty mangled. She was well aware of how much it hurt, despite her training to ‘control pain’. She dreaded the idea of patching herself up. She needed A LOT of stitches. She considered a hospital, though she hated the idea. She wasn’t much one for public places and people.
None of that really mattered at the moment, as she scrambled her way through the woods, lost.
She wondered how she had gotten to this point. This was just supposed to be some sort of training exercise, tracking or hunting bears or something. Her commander was pretty vague. But his squad, including herself, had no reason not to put their faith in him or doubt him. There was SOMETHING in these woods. People turned up dead, mauled or missing all together quite frequently. She thought about the faces of the men and women in her squad. They were all civilians of course, ex-military. She had just finished a second tour in Afghanistan and opted not to re-enlist. This little group she joined up with was privately funded. A collection of military and police personnel who longed to continue worshipping the order their weapons brought.. but without the harsh restrictions. Madison was former military police. Women couldn’t be scout snipers, but she was so spot on, she did receive the Crossed Rifles and spent a bit of time on the Marksmanship Team. It didn’t count for much in a man’s Corp, but in the private sector she was valuable.
It didn’t matter tonight. Whatever attacked them came in with such force, strength and speed that it left little time for any of them to realize what was happening until it was too late.
Madison wore her own blood, as well as the blood of her teammates. Her black hair clung in long clumps, strands sticking to her face with blood and sweat. It carried a red sheen to it. Her long sleeved thermal shirt, torn and drenched, her military style cargo pants as well. Her jacket was torn clean off. She was freezing in the cold winter night air. Each breath was like inhaling tiny bitter shards of ice.
All this running only made her bleeding worse, but Madison was too afraid to slow her pace. It could be following her, ready to finish what it started. All she had on her was a hunting knife. And while she had a great bit of stamina, she didn’t have enough to stop and fight, and continue on her coarse to get out of these blasted woods and get help before she bled to death, or froze to death.
She came upon a small stream, splashing through it, soaking her booted feet in its freezing waters. It slowed her some, but as she made it to the other side, she was able to take a pause, her ears doing a quick check. Nothing. No noises in the night seemed to be following her. But she still took off running once again. Fear gripped her so.
Her mind went back to what had happened. The faces of her colleagues. Their screams. The blood. The…thing…that had attacked them…it was quite clearly a male. And it had gone for the other males first, killing them, ripping them apart before going for the females in the unit. It…or ‘he’ rather, had shown them no mercy either. As his attention was on making a meal out of those around the campfire, Madison had slipped under him. She slid in the dry leaves like a baseball player stealing home. But the minute she rose to her feet, she was drug backward, painfully, as either teeth or claws drug through the flesh and muscle of her shoulder and upper arm. She screamed out in pain. Someone else in the group was still mobile, gun fire sounded. Whatever had hold of her growled deep in its throat and let her go as smoke filled the air. Another person’s screams replaced her own. All she could think of to do was run as this thing, this man-thing, decimated a party of well trained ‘soldiers’.
Weaving in and out of the trees in her path, her hands came up to shield her face from low hanging limbs and branches. It all left marks and scratches in their wake. Finally, after what seemed like forever, her foot falls fell on something more solid than the forest flood. Asphalt. She’d finally run into a road.
The oncoming car honked its horn as its tires screeched to avoid hitting her. All she could do was stare into the brilliance of the lights as she sunk to her knees.
~~~~~
Three days later Madison woke in a hospital room. There were sedatives in her system, but the overpowering sounds and scents woke her. She could hear the pulses of those around her. She could smell blood. And she could feel her own pain so exquisitely it was maddening.
She didn’t want to be in this place. Surely there were police that would want her statement on the events that led her there. She didn’t want to talk to anyone.
She slid out of the hospital bed and winced at the pain in her shoulder. She crept silently down the hall, poking into one room or another until she finally found the locker rooms. She stole a pair of scrubs, tennis shoes and a jacket. She avoided everyone as she cleared the hospital by way of a side exit. It was snowing, and blisteringly cold. But she could smell so many things on the wind. It was confusing, and yet it filled her stomach with a sort of excitement.
Madison went down the sidewalk, her feet taking her in the direction of her little one bedroom apartment. It wasn’t too far away. If she held a steady pace, she’d be there in her own comforts in no time.
He had watched over her. He followed her blood scent. He was irritated. He should finish what he started and kill her. But something held him back. Her scent for one. His bite had turned her. She was his now. She wouldn’t find out until the next full moon. She was quite beautiful. He decided to let her live. He’d situate himself, somehow, into her life before the next full moon. Then he’d show her who her Alpha male was. His new little Lycan pup.

Tornados, Floods and Cats for Christmas









Isn’t the fat cat just beautiful in her holiday wear? FABULOUS!!! And she didn’t even put up a fuss as expected. I think its the cut of the outfit. I’ll have to remember that for future attire.
So, rather than cold weather and snow for the holidays, we are getting the typical Southern wonderland of 65 degree temps, a tornado watch and a screeching flood warning blaring over my phones app every couple of minutes. Its been raining non-stop since yesterday.
Tonight, however, we had a LOVELY lightning show. It lit up the sky brilliantly. Its still going, just not with the intensity as earlier.
Thunder is still rumbling.
Though I hate the rainy weather, I do admire a good thunder and lightning storm. The only reason I really dislike the unending rain is because my, and I use the term lightly, drive way, turns into a mud-pit. Its a good thing my beast of a truck has four wheel drive. >_<
The tornado sirens went off earlier, however we’ve been downgraded from warning to watch. Its nowhere near as windy as it was. Its still humid out though. Unusually warm.
Winter here in the South doesn’t really kick in until January and February. We’ve had freak snow storms in March in years past. Though, it hasn’t snowed here since 2010. Oh, yeah, 2 inches. We all flail our arms, running in circles, screaming ‘ZOMG CLOSE THE STATE!!!’. True story. We simply don’t know how to deal with snow. Its so uncommon here. We’re too close to the gulf coast. We aren’t equipped for it on our roads. We freak out when things get frosted over. Seriously. Close. The. State.
When the temperatures drop below a certain level I don’t even want to get dressed and go outside. Anything below 60 is TOO winter for me.
I think I need to move further south. I just don’t want to leave Alabama. Florida is nice, I love being so close and going often, but Alabama is home.
I could possibly be convinced to make Pensacola home. Or to top that, the Florida Keys. Granted, I haven’t been there before, but its on my list.
I spent some time in Phoenix Arizona with my best friend a few times. Its not bad. Instead of rain, I got a taste of dust and sand storms. But I love the air quality there. The ‘dry’ heat. So different than here. Sometimes here, the weather is so hot and humid, when you step outside its oppressing and you feel like you just stepped into a steam bath, the water so heavy in the air. Arizona is nice and dry. Hot as hell, but dry. I liked it.
Its still too far from my beloved Gulf of Mexico however.
I think I’ll probably never leave where I am now. I love my house. I love the area. I even love the noisy cows across the road and the roaming pack of coyotes that occasionally kill said cows.
Well, fat cat is demanding attention. Its treat time! She loves her Whiska’s Temptations…so long as they aren’t seafood flavored in any way…lol. My weird cat hates seafood. Go figure.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Official Book Release Day!

Well, today was the official release of The Road of Darkness.
How did I celebrate?
MARATHON!!!
Supernatural-Season-10-Episode-200-Series-Finale
Yes, I’ve missed the last season, and half of season 9, so I took some time to catch up. I LOVE SUPERNATURAL.
Its a great show. Its got everything. Horror, comedy, hot guys…
I do have a few things…issues…with it. I dont like how vampires and werewolves are protrayed. The look of them, that is.
I love the shows creativity. Breaking the 4th wall. Its just a good show that keeps you coming back for more (if your into the genre)
I’ve also gotten some sleep…something I havent done in quite a few days…like…almost a week. Granted, I had to take Ambien to accomplish the feat, but I at least got a few hours of shut eye.
I do feel like warmed over crap though. I’m a hot mess at the moment.
I want to say thank you for my all readers and supporters of the book. In coming weeks, I’m going to try implementing things to help others. Cross-promoting, spotlighting, etc.. Its tough being an Indie, we need all the help we can get. Especially when we’re newbs to it all, like myself.
I will give some warning for the next few day, as my posts may be less than lackluster. The closer the 25th comes, the grouchier I seem to be getting. Okay, maybe not grouchy…apathetic? Yes, apathetic is probably the better word.
So I have two episodes of Supernatural to go, then I think I may start on getting caught up on Arrow, or maybe watch Penny Dreadful…my friends all seem to think I’ll like that show. We shall see…

Friday, December 19, 2014

Book Release: Making the Official Site all Pretty


2:37am. I've spent the last hour and a half making my official site look all spiffy and pretty with links to my book, 'The Road of Darkness'. by Zoe Ambler

Monday, Dec 22, it will be available for download and print purchase from a wide variety of retailers all over the world.

SO EXCITING!!!

Just in time for Christmas!

However, I am a realist...okay, maybe a pessimist. I have my faults. I, of course, think I am doomed to fail. There are so many books out there, and the vampire/horror genre is so overcrowded.

BUT...my book isn't the average vampire story. There's no heaps for gushy romance. There's a lot of history told based on actual events. There's other creatures of the paranormal realm.

I'm glad I wrote it. I'm glad I wrote the second book as well, to follow up and conclude Addison's story.

And then there are my erotica books! It will be 2 series, each series being about 3-5 books. What I have written may be condensed and restructured a little, making for one longer book here and there, rather than two shorter.

If my books don't do well, so be it. At least I can say I did something. I put myself out there. Its all been such a great learning experience as well.

So, go buy my book!


Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Dec 17/14: RP writing vs Novel writing

There is a huge difference between writing for Role-play gaming and writing a novel. I love both equally. I love gaming, and I have a head full of ideas, stories, possible characters, etc..
With RP writing, you lose a bit of control. You are not writing alone. It could be a joint venture with one person or a group. You control your own characters thoughts, emotions and words, but you don’t know what to expect from the next person to post to the story-line. You also cant take actions or thoughts for their characters. Your character doesn’t know how they will respond or react. Your character doesn’t know what the other character is thinking.
You’re flying by the seat of your pants. I love it. Of course, the problem in RP writing is finding compatible partners. Its no fun, and rather irritating, when you spend time writing a good post for a thread, with good character development, actions, scene…and they return a response of only three sentences. Or taking control of everything. God-Modding. Power-playing.
It can drive you mad. There is chaos.
When your writing your own story, be it a novel or short story, you are in control of everything. And while your characters don’t know how each will respond and react to another, or their thoughts, you control the rhythm and flow of the story. You are in control. You control the plot twists, the dialogue, the surprises. Its calming to just sit and write out whats in your head, getting it all down and letting it evolve how YOU imagine.
I find thrill in RP game writing. I tend to find writing partners that are active, so posting to the story is rapid fire. You have to think fast. I avoid planned stories for the most part. I just don’t find planning step by step to be fun. I don’t mind an idea or brief outline of what direction we’d like to see happen, but for the most part I love the surprise of responses unknown, giving me a kick in the pants to spark that imagination.
Novel and story writing is at your leisure, well, unless your on a deadline, but you are still in control. You set the pace.
I’ll never give up my RP gaming writing, even when people, the players behind the character, can drive me up a wall and make me want to gouge my eyes out. Its all part of the package.
And I’ll always be working on other stories in the meantime. I have way too much time on my hands and more than an abundance of story ideas.

Dec 17/14: Last nights meltdown

Yeah, so. Yesterdays good mood was completely obliterated by a ‘friend’. Still a little sore about all that.

Its the reason I hate being such a sensitive person. I’ve known most of the people on my private Facebook account for YEARS, having met them through gaming and such. To have someone poke at me like they did just really set me off.

I went and got all emo. If you read the rant, you were probably thinking ‘what the…?’.

I keep a private Facebook, under a different screen name. It’s my gaming Facebook. Like I said, I’ve known those people over 12 years or more. To be dissed upon by one of them really got to me.

HOWEVER…today is a new day. I’m going to just shove it all down and move on. I wont let it bring me down any further.

I have no one to blame but myself. And I apologize to you, my readers, for my emo, whiney meltdown, for something you were totally oblivious to as it stemmed from someplace you don’t have access to and are able to see what sparked it all.

I lost sight of my professionalism. Oh, come on, who are we kidding…I have a hard time grasping the whole ‘be professional’ thing. I am who I am.

I’ll behave…I promise. Okay, that’s a lie.

DON’T RUN AWAY!!!

:D

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Dec 16/14 ver. 2.0 : Disappointment

Disappointment stings like an open wound. Like, those horrid little cuts you don’t realize you have until you squeeze a lemon or pick up a jalapeno. A burning sting.

And I’m the sort of person who doesn’t take disappointment well. I set my hopes too high and put too much faith in people, friends. I am usually always disappointed. Let down.

It festers in me, making it worse. It irritates me, because the current situation, in the role reversal, I was a ‘rah-rah-rah’ cheer-leading ‘go get e’m tiger’ support buddy. I contributed to your wealth and invested in your product.

And you nitpick mine? Instead of words of encouragement and motivation, I receive a more negative tone, making me feel very small, less, insignificant and utterly wrong. My approach is wrong? I should do as others you know did? Why? Did I tell you how to do things? Did I pick apart things and show you the flaws?

I guess I’m on my own. I’m very used to it, trust me. I will continue on in my endeavors without anyone’s help or support. If I fail, it will be my failure. More disappointment.

I let one single person get to me. But really, it wasnt just one single person. It was several who I had faith in. It just took one person to voice something.

This thing called ‘friendship’ has such a flawed design.

12/16/2014: The woes of being a fluffy cat

Its was that time again. Time for fat cat to get all pretty. She hates it, but I hate wearing and eating her fur. So off to the vet she went for her quarterly shave! Oh, does she hate it. But look how pretty!!!

Before


After


So pretty and sleek-ish. So she's a little flabby here and there. Dont tell her that, you'll hurt her feelings!
I leave her head fluffy and a little poof on her tail. She looks like a lion. Rawr.

I gave the house a sprucing as well. Laundry, kitchen, bathroom. Oh. Joy.

I have been terribly slack online however. When I take a little break, I read and comment on blogs. I've behaved and stayed away from gaming for the most part.

I have serious work to do this week. I have a book to promote!!! I've been asked to guest blog, so I have to prepare something for that. I need to make my official site look spiffy with the various links to my book.

So, I'm taking the rest of the day off. Sort of.

Go me!

Monday, December 15, 2014

Dec 15/14: GoFundMe...all the cool kids do it.

My home away from home…
I’ve already added the dreaded PayPal Donate button, now I have started a GoFundMe account. I am in need of serious help. Take that any way you want…lol. Mentally or financially.

Though in all seriousness, I do need help financially. Disability only goes so far.

The link to my GoFundMe is here http://www.gofundme.com/zoeambler

Thank you to anyone who can lend some support.

Come on, all the cool kids are going it!!!

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Dec 14, 2014 : The Road of Darkness PRE-ORDER!

The Road of Darkness is now available for pre-order on Amazon with a small discount. I’m so excited!
 I almost backed out of the whole thing. I really did.

Now this means I have to buckle down and get the second book in the series all polished and ready to go and stop dragging my feet. :D

Clicky to the to be magically transported to Amazon…http://www.amazon.com/Road-Darkness-Ambler-Zoe-ebook/dp/B00QZFBV6Q/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1418571352&sr=8-2&keywords=The+Road+of+Darkness

It will be available to a plethora of other retailers in the coming days, and for print as well. ENJOY!

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Dec 13, 2014 The dreaded 'Donate' button





So I’ve had to break down and add the dreaded ‘Donate’ button to my site (http://zoeambler.com).

I tried to resist, but the costs of self publishing, and getting quality work done, as well as a few financial blunders, has left me no choice but seek a little help.

I am on a fixed income. I am on disability. My dreams of publishing are finally in sight, The Road of Darkness is now submitted and just waits for upload to the various retailers and the likes.

But I am tapped out. And I still have roughly 14 more books to publish. The most important being The Path of Redemption, which is the follow up to The Road of Darkness.

If you can spare a bit of change, it would be most appreciated. What do you get for a donation? My undying gratitude? I have no clue, really. I guess a ‘perk’ is something to be considered or discussed.
On a side note, I’d like to thank all who follow me, and offer comments and insights into your own lives. I love meeting new people. That’s what blogging is all about, right? And sharing, or in my case, over-sharing…lol.

As soon as The Road of Darkness is available, I will post the various links, it will be available in both ebook and print forms.

The anticipation is killing me! Or maybe that’s a hunger pain…o.O

Oh, and lets not forget fat cat. She needs her gushy foods and treats. Not to mention her deplorable catnip addiction. Think of the kitteh!!!

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Dec 11/14: Wanna be Crazy Cat Lady





Its no secret I am crazy for cats. Yet I have only one.

Why, you may wonder, with my raging love for cats?

Its pretty simple. My fat cat is a raging bitch...lol. I attempted to bring a kitten home once, fat cat thought it was a treat and tried to eat it.

So fat cat is an only child. Well, other than my real kid. I, at times, like the cat better.

But like any other child, fat cat talks back to me, she gets lippy and gives me the stink-eye. I tell her not to do something, and I get sass back in return.

Cats are wonderful creatures. Not to diss dogs, but cats seem to excude more personality. There are a lot of misconception that all cats do is sleep half their lives. Fat cat doesnt. She is in my face constantly. She talks to me, she nibbles me, she follows me. Heaven forbid I try to go to the bathroom by myself or shut a door with her on the other side.

She brings me toys. Not that she wants to play, she just wants to bring me her favorite slobber covered toys to share. I think its sweet.

She sleeps with me. She puts her fluffy shedding fur in my drinks and food. I swear, I'm surprised *I* dont hack up a hairball.

Everyone tells me, go ahead, get another cat, fat cat will get used to it in time. But yanno, fat cat is so neurotic, and I really do keep her feelings in consideration, I dont want to put her through that.

When I think of life without her, it makes me tear up. I know eventually she will cross the bridge. Everyone tells me to get another cat when that happens. And I probably will, but not right away. And when I do, I will get more than one so they can grow together.

But right now, I have my fat cat. I love her. She is my lil fur-baby who gives loves unconditionally and doesnt judge me. She listens, and gives input in her own way.

Our pets are precious to us. Whether you have a cat, cats, doggies, parrots or ferrets...make sure you let them know how special they are. Take time with them. So many people get pets, and then things turn into a routine...feed pet, clean up after pet. Occasionally pet the pet. No...they need more. They deserve more.

Also, when fat cat is displeased with me...she silently stalks me...creeper-ninja-stalker-mode.

She plots my doom at times.

Its endearing.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Dec 10, 2014 Ooops



So I didn't post yesterday. My bad. I had really meant too, honest!!!

I just couldn't seem to get out of bed. I had missed my bed after my mini-vacation. I did the bare minimum yesterday. I tweaked with the official page, answered email...and that's pretty much as far as it went.

Today I am working on getting my groove back in my routine. I'm currently at my coffee shop, where I am usually the most productive. I have my music strapped to my head (Five Finger Death Punch is the current playlist) and I'm enjoying all the familiar faces here in my little world.

Vacations are great. I got a lot done while I was in Pensacola, but nothing beats being at home in your own familiar things. Going away for a few days makes you appreciate them more.

So, the book is slated for a December 22 release if things keep on a good track. YAY!!! Book Two will be out in early spring.

My erotica collection will be out starting in late spring, one book per 2 months I believe. It is a series based around one pivotal character. I wont reveal too much more than that.

So, its lovely to be home, here in my coffee shop, with those beloved scents and sounds.

Oh, and my fat cat missed me so much. It makes me feel good.

I am a happy purple haired girl!

Monday, December 8, 2014

Relaxed and refreshed





Well, I'm home safe and sound from my little mini-vacation.

I had a nice time. I got a lot of writing done and a lot of relaxing done. I feel great.

Miss fat cat was none too pleased that I had left her, but after a good scolding from her I'm back in her good graces and she's all up in my face per the norm.

I've overhauled my official site, streamlined it...its looks much more professional now. I really like the new look and layout, even though I'm still tweaking it here and there.

I have so many little things to do in the coming weeks, none of which are holiday related...lol. I'm not a holiday person.

So, I think now that I've had a post-drive nap, I'm going to have some foodz, snuggle the fat cat and perhaps watch a movie or something. I dont feel like gaming ~gasps~ and I dont feel like writing ~double gasps~!!

I just want a little more me time. :)

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Dec 7 2014 - Writing away


So in the last two days I've managed a good bit of writing. Two short stories, 'flash fictions', and managed one of them as a 1st person narrative. They can be found in the blog section of my Official Site (http://zoeambler.com)

It was certainly a challenge. When I write, I am a long, descriptive writer. So writing something that doesnt exceed 1500 words is like a mallet to the head for me. And I've tried 1st person narrative in role-plays before, and they didnt sit well with me, but in story telling its a little different.

I dont think either story came out too bad.

I'm working on another right now as well. I am entering a contest, and am going to give it my best shot. It doesnt matter what perspective the story is, it just cant be longer than 1500 words, and of course, carry a PG, PG-13 rating.

I'm kind of excited. Mostly nervous. I'm really trying to branch out a bit.

My second novel is on the back burner for now, its nearly complete, I am just tired of looking at it...I need a break from those characters and being in their heads for a little bit.

This little get-a-way to the beach was just what I needed. I feel great. I feel inspired!

And right now, I feel like a nap!  :D



Saturday, December 6, 2014

Dec 6/14: A writing challenge accepted


This was a challenge presented by BDHESSE https://bdhesse.wordpress.com/2014/12/06/a-challenge-for-my-readers
 
It was a good challenge, as I am not good with writing short stories. But it was an interesting topic matter. So here we go….

Faith Undone: by Zoe Ambler

She stared out of the window, her eyes not really focused on anything in particular past the rain spattered glass. She gave a sigh, running her hand over her lower abdomen.
It had been over six months now. She questioned everything. She recounted every detail of that day. She recounted every detail of her life leading up to that day, and she recounted every detail since.
There was no God.
At first, she felt that if there were truly a God, she hated Him for this.
She had been raised a devote Catholic, her husband as well. They were raising their son to love their Lord. They attended mass regularly. She had been taught that God was forgiving and just. If you did wrong, you could seek repentance. Forgiveness. He loved His children with His whole heart. Abide His word. And they had. They had done everything right, she felt.
And then, the accident happened. She was seven months pregnant. A girl. They were so excited, even little Ethan. At first the little boy didn’t like the idea of a little sister, but then he had gotten excited with the hopes of being a ‘big brother’ and the responsibilities it entailed. Even though they had not decided on a name for the coming child, every night at prayer time he included his future sister in his prayers. Jake had wanted to name her after his grandmother.
The man’s car hit them so hard. He was speeding, he was drunk. It was the middle of the afternoon. They had just picked Ethan up from school. He was happily regaling his day to them.
The force of the impact snapped his little neck, despite his car seat. At least he didn’t suffer. Jake had lingered in a coma for a week before slipping away.
She lost the baby. A piece of twisted metal had impaled itself through her abdomen. When she woke, her belly hurt so badly. It was swollen, but much flatter than it had been. She asked where her baby was.
Their Priest came to see her, as well as others from the church. They prayed for her. They prayed for her dead family. They tried to console her loss.
She was inconsolable. But that sorrow turned to rage.
As she healed and mended, she could do little, as her fragile healing body needed so much rest. She read the morning paper. She watched the television.
More and more the things in the news began to strike at her. War, murder, famine, disease, child abuse and death was everywhere.
Where was her God? Why did He let these things happen? Why were little children made to suffer?
Why did He take her family from her? They had lived by His word. They had done everything right.
The man, the drunk driver, he was not punished as harshly as she felt he should be. A slap on the wrist.
She was told that God would judge him in the end.
That led her to question this God. This man had taken life. And all he had to do to gain entrance into the splendors of Heaven was repent. Seek forgiveness and the Lord would grant it. However, should she take her own life in her sorrows and heartbreak, she would be doomed to roam Purgatory as punishment.
It wasn’t right.
When the man was released from his brief stint in jail, returning to his loving family, that’s when she stopped.
There was no God. All that was taught to her was a lie. A fable. The bible nothing more than a storybook.
There was no God. Religion was a farce. A clever scare tactic.
She stopped attending mass. She started refusing the calls of her Priest and friends from the church.
And here she was, cold, hollow, looking out of the window at the rainy day. The autumn leaves were beautiful, but signified they change of seasons. Everything was rotting and decaying.
That night, she took a handful of her medications. All of them. She lay down for sleep. Eternal sleep. She had no fears of purgatory, no hopes of seeing her family again in ‘Heaven’. No fear of the wrath of a God that didn’t exist.

Friday, December 5, 2014

Dec 5,2014 pt 2. Nerd Alert


So earlier I sat outside and kicked my little feet up and watched a beautiful sunset. Of course, I had to laugh…no…not at my feet and socks, but if you look close at the second picture…does it not look like two AT-ATs roaming around over there?? Am I the only nerd who thinks these things?

Whew. Look at those tones of purple. Just beautiful. And the gulf air is so fresh and clean. Right now its gotten a bit chilly out, but its still a beautiful night.

I’ve gotten a good bit of writing done as well. Worked on some role-play writing, and now I think I will try my hand at some flash fiction, since I’ve never really tried my hand at it. I’m usually so wordy and descriptive in my writing, trying to write something less than 1500 words is going to be a challenge…Oh, and I am thinking about giving a whirl at 1st person narrative as well. Something I’m not that great at. I have a few ideas though, its just a matter of not getting long winded, or it turning into a novel. >_<

Hope everyone has a safe and happy weekend. I’ll be sure to post up something interesting (I hope its interesting to you readers) tomorrow!

Dec 5 2014 : Pensacola Beach - YAY!


GREETINGS!!!

So, I had a very lovely 2 hour drive down here to Pensacola Beach. The pictures are the view from my room. LOVELY!

The drive was nice, its a beautiful day and traffic wasn’t bad, but then, I took back country roads most of the way anyway.

I’m not familiar with Pensacola that well. Panama City Beach Florida is much closer to me, so I usually go there. But, this is nice. Panama City is more of a ‘party town’. Crazy college kids and what not, even in the off season.

Pensacola is more laid back. An ‘older’ crowd. I saw a lot of good looking restaurants on the way in and my hotel is really nice. Small, but nice, and you cant beat that view. We’re having ourselves an ‘Indian summer’, so the weather is warm, a little human, and pretty damn nice. It will get chilly in the evening, but I wont be leaving the room, so its not a big deal.

Yes, I’m like, the only person in the world who goes to the beach, gets a beach view/access room, and then doesn’t leave the room.

I mean, come on. Sand is just fancy dirt. Ew. And people. EW!

My requirements on the room were – beach front, mini fridge, microwave, coffee maker and free wi-fi. Don’t care about the cable TV, I already unplugged the phone and rearrange the desk how I like it…so I can look up and view that beautiful ocean whenever I want.

The only downside I am seeing right now is that yes, the wi-fi is free, but its crappy speed-wise. I tried doing a little gaming when I got in and settled, and got irritated. So. Slow.

But, less gaming means more writing, right?

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Dec 4, 2014 : ROAD TRIP!!!



Okay, so maybe I went a little overboard on the meme’s. Come on…they’re CATS!!!

So I’m taking a road trip this weekend. Just heading down to the beach to chill, have a change of scenery and stare at my laptop while listening to the soothing sounds of the waves as I try to kick start that creative process again.

I just need to get away from home for the weekend. Fat cat will be looked after, though she’s so clingy, she’s going to be all up in my stuff while I’m gone. And she knows I’m going somewhere. She has been trying to pack herself into my suitcase all day.

The drive isn’t a long one, maybe 2.5 hours, tops. I got myself a room with a beach view. Sadly it doesn’t have a balcony, but I didn’t want to spend $200.00 A NIGHT! Even on the ‘off-season’ the beach is pricey. Also, there’s something going on down there too…sporting event or something.
I just want to get away, look at the beach from a safe distance and hear the waves and write, write, write. I also need to clean out and organize my files on the laptop and my Dropbox.

I’ll have plenty to keep me occupied. I’ll be making my daily post, and if something spectacular happens, I might post more than once!!

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Help me! Help me!!






So far, I have not used 'writing prompts' or 'blog prompts'. I've just been sort of winging it, posting what just sort of spews out of my head.

I'm finding some prompts to be sort of interesting. I don't really know if I want to use them, however.

I learned during NaBloPoMo in November that sometimes I get stuck on what to write on that would be interesting. I'm doing Decembers NaBloPoMo, but only submitting through my Official Sites Blog and then cross posting it to BlogHer.

I still want to manage a blog a day here on blogger though. And I need to learn all I can about the functions and advantages of Blogger. I haven't explored how to make it really worth looking at, and how to promote myself and my upcoming books with it.

So, I think I may use 'prompts' here and there. I'm hesitant, because my views on some things are a little skewed...lol. Don't want to frightened people away!

I would like readers to perhaps comment with things they'd like to see me write about or share here, or on the domain site. Since this Blogger is more of the personal side of me, I don't have a problem with more personal content. If its good enough, I'll cross post it to the domain. I will give credit for the question or prompt to the submitter, of course. I'll even link their own blog or site. I mean, that's what this is all about, right? Finding and promoting one another, making an online community of like minded people, or just sharing and following those who interest you?

I will admit, I haven't explored Blogger much. I've focused way more on my domain and promoting myself and books there. I DO want to be more involved here on Blogger/Blogspot.

So I welcome anyone who reads to comment. I'll follow and share, and we can all make a nice happy (demented) family!!!  :D


Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Motivation 0


Lack of motivation today = 1

Me = 0

I had plans for today. Coffee shop, writing, blogging, etc…

How did my day go? Well, I got up and nearly ready to head out to the coffee shop at around 8am this morning.

How did my day progress? Well, I was back in bed by 9am this morning.

I got up once afterward, looked at my computer and the little post-it notes of things to do today, groaned, prodded my lacking sense of brain for the day, then went back to crawl into the confines of my bed.

It is now 11:20pm. All day completely wasted away. No writing. No tasks. The only thing I am attempting is to post this update and be a little entertaining.

I have a lovely doctors appointment tomorrow, and I have to go down to the city for it. Oh, whee.
With much hope my motivation levels will return to normal. The creativity is there, the desire is there…its just…you know…the had earned the trust of my comfy bed and just couldn’t abandon it in its seemingly need for someone to embrace it.

:D

Monday, December 1, 2014

I write Vampires





Why do  write a lot of my book about vampires? Hmmm…a lot has to do with the RP games I play. All my characters are vampires, pretty much.

I dont follow any set theme for my vampires however. Such as ‘Ricean’, or the ‘traditional’ lore. I sort of blend themes. My vampires can see their reflections, they can enter ‘Holy Ground’, they do not need to sleep below ground or in coffins. As a matter of fact, a few of my characters have a fear of both bugs and small spaces.

Some of my vampires are true horror nightmares. They revel in killing, not just feeding to sustain themselves.

I do like the Trueblood theme of vampires getting sick and ill, bleeding from the nose and such, if awake past dawn.

Of course, there are some staples I leave in, which to me, are pretty much needed, such as the burn of Holy Water, the stake in the heart, beheading and burning in the sunlight.

I would stab my own eyes out if I ever had a fleeting thought of my vampires sparkling.

I think vampires should be lovely, haunting, strong, mysterious…and bloodthirsty. They should be scary in their beauty. Misleading.

Pop out fangs are not a thing for me. My vampires do tend to have a more ‘Ricean’ look. No big chomp chomp fangs, just subtly sharper teeth. Oh, and I love the lightening eye effect.
Anne Rice is my hero when it comes to the vampire genre. I favor her method more than anyone. She redefined some things. I still dont like the whole sleeping in a coffin thing though.

I like my vampires to have fears. They may lose their humanity, but not little personality quirks that will follow them forever. I like my readers to be able to relate on some level with my characters, see their beauty in their fierceness.

I’ve been writing vampire fiction for a long time now. I know, its taken me a long time to consider publishing. I was a chicken, what can I say. But I have the right people in my life motivating me to chase that dream now, even if I dont do well.

But I’ll still be writing vampires. And not just vampires. Werewolves and angels and demons and slayers. I love supernatural things. Ghosties, too.

Later we’ll talk about my upcoming erotic series. >_>